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20 Lies to Stop Telling Yourself and 20 Truths to Change Your Life – Part 2

“Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”
~Walter Anderson
Are you ready for a phenomenal 2012? I’m sure you are…and I hope these new truths will add a new level of joy to your new year.  My wish for us all is that we will love and trust ourselves enough to be completely honest with the person who matters most–self.

I wish you great success in living joyously and authentically in 2012 and in every year to come.

(Note: If you did not read part 1 of 20 Lies to Stop Telling Yourself and 20 Truths to Change Your Life, you may want to check that out and come back here for #11 – 20. )

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Lies to Stop Telling Yourself and Truths to Change Your Lie (Part 2 of 2)

11) The Lie: My map is the territory.

The Truth: Your view of the world is not the world itself. Every single person has a map that is his or her own interpretation of the way things are; but none of these are a totally accurate view of the world. Instead, your map shows the way things appear based on your individual beliefs, experiences, and understandings. What feels right, wrong, good or bad to you, isn’t necessarily what’s right, wrong, good or bad. The more you accept and respect everyone’s individual map, the more you’ll feel free and able to enjoy life on this diverse planet.

12. The Lie: I need what I really only want. Example: “I can’t do what I want until [insert name] believes in me” or “I need a husband/wife to complete me.”

The Truth: By piling up a list of barriers that stand between you and your happy place, wants disguised as needs may keep you from doing what it takes to get where you want to go. It may feel accurate to say that you need more money, time or skills. It may even seem true that you need your marital status, appearance or support system to change; but you have the power to challenge yourself to move forward without it. Often, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find that the need blocking your way wasn’t a need after all.

13. The Lie: I think (or feel) it, so it’s true.

The Truth: Your feelings are powerful signals that give you helpful information, but this information is not necessarily the truth about everything around you. It is the truth about who you are in relation to everything around you. In other words, feeling wronged or mistreated is not the same as being wronged or mistreated.

14. The Lie: This way is the only way.

The Truth: There may only be one way that you know of or feel comfortable with, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way. By opening your mind and considering other options, you could tap into the resourcefulness that you otherwise cut yourself off from. The only limitation is belief in limitation.

15. The Lie: If it’s not perfect, it’s not good enough—and I have to be good enough.

The truth: Perfectionism is about control and fear—not success. In fact, it results in far more emotional pain, delays, procrastination and missed opportunities than the discomfort that may come with letting go. By keeping you from making decisions, moving forward and feeling good about where you are in life; perfectionism can keep you stuck in neutral. Successful, happy, accomplished people know how to let go. And they are still absolutely, positively good enough.

16. The Lie: I don’t need anyone. This lie often serves as a defense mechanism when you’re harboring deep scars and unresolved emotional injury from rejection, abandonment or mistreatment. But none of that changes the fact that it’s a lie.

The Truth: As human beings, we need each other. We are at our best only when we nurture our connections to each other and to the world around us. Allowing yourself to receive help, to connect with people you trust, and to retain a strong support system is a part of this journey that you don’t want to ignore.

17. The Lie: I can fix or change others.

The Truth: By focusing your primary attention on what is outside of your control, you do a grave disservice to yourself and to those you think you’re helping. You are responsible for one life and it is the only one you can change. Once you learn to respect other people’s paths and to stop trying to do for them what they can only do for themselves, you’ll begin making an impact where it really counts.

18. The Lie: Someone else is the reason for my feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

The Truth: If you want to move in the direction of your dreams, taking full responsibility for your life is absolutely necessary. Nobody makes you feel anything, nor do the actions of others become responsible for your reactions. If you feel a negative feeling such as anger or hurt, look inside for the thoughts that are behind that feeling. You are in control here.

19. The Lie: Growth should be quick and easy.

The Truth: Growth rarely fits into a comfy little box. It usually requires hard work, patience, fortitude. In many cases, growth even requires pain and tears. By expecting it to happen without the feelings that come with challenges, you’re only ensuring disappointment.

20. The Lie. I am not a good person unless I put other people’s feelings, thoughts and needs ahead of mine.

The Truth: The best thing you can do for others is to first be the best person you can be to yourself. That’s exactly what it takes to build you up and to let your Higher Self shine through. At your best, you are strong, resourceful, resilient, free, fun and powerfully contagious. What’s not good about that?


Self Improvement Saga

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