Forgiveness Forgiveness…How to Forgive Oneself
So often we talk about the importance of forgiveness—letting go of grudges, releasing resentment, and making peace with what others have done to hurt us in the past. But what about forgiving the person whom we subconsciously blame the most?
That person is the one you wake up with and spend every moment of every day with. It’s the person most worthy of your love, understanding and radical forgiveness. Of course, that person is you. Do you forgive yourself?
As sure as you’re alive to read the words on this page, you’ve hurt someone and you’ve been hurt by someone at some point in your life. A fraction of your rage about that hurt may be enduringly turned inward. It’s hardly recognizable unless you know what to look for. Has your child-like sense of wonder, freedom and invincibility fallen by the wayside; replaced by a lack of forgiveness disguised as self-doubt, fear, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy or depression?
If you haven’t let yourself off the hook for the past, it is time. There is nothing in the past for you; nothing you can change about what is over and done. Whatever it is that you wish you’d done differently, let it go. You did the best that you could with what you had, what you knew and where you were in your life at the time.
You have complete control over how, if at all, the past impacts you in the present. This is a new day. Do the best that you can do. You won’t always get it completely right, but that’s okay. Forgive yourself and start over again.
You weren’t put on this Earth to do everything perfect at every moment in your life. In fact, life is quite the opposite. The journey of life is full of unexpected, and sometimes unpleasant, twists and turns. You’ll get hurt and you’ll cause hurt; you’ll make bad choices and experience the effects of others’ bad choices. But what you don’t have to do is get stuck. Guilt serves no purpose other than to hold you back, so release it. You live and you learn. Forgive those who have wronged you, and more importantly, forgive yourself.
Before you move forward with the remainder of your day, I encourage you to take a moment right now to repeat (5 – 20 times) my favorite positive affirmation for forgiveness:
I totally, and without reservation, forgive myself.
Use that affirmation daily. Tape it on your mirror, your desk or the dashboard of your car. Use it as a reminder to live as you’re intended to—in the present rather than the past.
Your work in life is to recreate yourself and your life story every single day; but how will the story change if you don’t move on to the next chapter?
Stop reliving yesterday and start creating today. My friend…please, without reservation, forgive yourself.
Related Self Help Blog Articles
- Why Forgiveness and Love Trump Holding a Grudge
- Overcoming the Guilt and Shame of Childhood Trauma
Photo credit:Kahlan Bingyi