Your Past Does Not Equal Your FutureMarch 21, 2020
You moment of change occurs in an instant! Your transformation is only a decision away!
We grew up with my friend Tony and the memories from our childhood are forever fresh in my mind! I long for the carefree life we had; when nothing but our games mattered in the world. Those were the best days of our life – when we imagined and created whatever we wanted to!
But soon after college, Tony’s life took a sudden twist and nose-dived to misery and apathy over the years. We met recently after a long time away from each other and I was moved to tears looking at my old friend; seeing him as he is – a disheveled existence– a far cry from the childhood boy I knew. He spoke with a slur and his words seldom got to my ear as they lost their momentum in the little space between us. It was hard to stay near him too long; since he had a foul smell that hung around him like a satanic halo; and he sparsely made eye contact with me – his head hang about him like a deflated balloon!
I couldn’t get over him as I shuttled home that evening. So when I got home, I thought about other people who might be like Tony; whose lives long slipped passed them, and have died a living death; now they wait for the natural death to come! As I dwelt on the thought, I prodded myself to awaken from the misery and I penned the following analogy of two lives.
But who am I to even write this? Well, my story is not too far from Tony’s! Actually, he is my older brother with whom we shared a similar fate – a ruggedness of the mind and self; a directionless life; we were lost like ship without radar in a starless night navigating the waters by fury of the currents. But the moment of decision came and I am here today to say it loud: Your past doesn’t equal your future. When your moment of decision arrives, you can change all that was and only focus on all that is and can be.
Following is a 10 point example of how you can move from the past and embrace a new you; a transformed you!
You don’t believe in yourself! You are lame and half-hearted. You start lots of things and finish none – after all you have perfected self pity – you know from the start that whatever you do is failing anyway!
You are a walking dynamo! You believe in yourself entirely! You know that you know that you are! Nothing comes closer to your own belief in yourself. And you know it! Whatever you put your mind into; you become. You are motivated and involved in everything that you do – mind, body and soul
You offer excuses. These can be anything your limp will can conjure up. In fact, you go to the extremes and you don’t take responsibility for anything. You blame your wife, your parents even your workmates. C’mon you know it; just blame it on something! If you run short of excuses, blame it on your race and involve the gods of luck somewhere!
Phew! You roll your sleeves and do what you have to do in order that you may do what you want to do! You are a doer whose chorus is in the words: Be. Do. Have! You are so invigorated that you only pop out like a bulb when suddenly you must take a rest – only to recharge and embark on it again with unequivocal zeal!
Take what life offers you, pray and go to bed! You go about life begrudgingly – complaining about why you are like this – why me? Why is it that am always fated with bad luck! You compare yourself all the time with your peers and wonder why life is not giving you the things you want. You whine and fret all day about how hard life is and how impossible it is to get over your ranks!
You are the chief architect of your life! You craft and model it according to your specifications. If there is a part that is leaking, you fix it instantly and move on. And when all you can access is a lemon in your life; you make lemonade out of it! You don’t settle for the average – you push your limits to reach the most out of the situations that come along your life. You are really a god in your life – of course not creating other creatures, but creating and modeling your own life – inside and out! And even when you pray, you first word is gratitude and the last is gratitude! You bless whatever you want that you don’t have – and you attract it to your life.
You keep your obstacles closer to your heart. You think of them all the time – you see them all the time, hear the loud bang they make in your head and feel how they prick your heart! You wince with pain and suffer their blockage on your path. You stay like this forever!
Your have lots of obstacles but that’s not the word you know – to you they are stepping stones and flavorings. You know that nothing is worth achieving if it’s not sought out vigorously, c’mon you know it well – it’s like winning a football match where there is no goalkeeper and no opponents – just you running the ball and scoring! No! That’s not it for you. You welcome the little obstacles on your path; they are the flavoring for spiritual excellence! You love them so much since they pepper your game. It’s like the very pieces of the puzzle that you must have in order ‘to build the dog’
You no longer dream! But when you do, you have very troubling dreams of bleakness; of despair, of timidity and apathy and gnashing of teeth! In your dreams, you see the pathetic lack that shields you, you feel the emptiness and lack of color in them and you hear the shouts of misery and ineptitude as you live up the dream!
You visualize your life vividly – imaging and holing the images for long in your mind. You visualize the ideal goals you want to achieve; you cast a sharp beam on to them moving and roving the light on to all that is possible. You dot and adore your visualizations because as you visualize; you feel how it feels to have the things you want; you hear the sounds that come along with this achievement; you see how other people close to you will see you when you have achieved your goals; you can even touch and calibrate the size, shape and texture of your goal now that you have achieved it! You bring colour and breath of life into your visualizations and when you stop; you know that you have it already. You have manifested it!
You use the language of ‘lack’ in your conversations with your friends and within you. You always say to yourself things like – “Am a grown up, I can’t just play,” “the rich are filthy,” “its hard for a rich man to see the kingdom of God than a camel to pass through the eye of a needle,” “Its really because am from Africa that am like this, we are a cursed lot,” “What was written will be.”
You speak directly to your unconscious mind with a positive language that propels you to action. You coddle to your unconscious mind with words of power; you have re-written your metaphors and you do not mislead yourself into any thing average in meaning. A is for Amazing, B is Bodacious, C is Courageous, D is Determined, E is Enchanted…..
Your life is full of failure and defeat! You never see the good that could be in the events in your life that you have missed. You don’t take a review of the things you have done; you have no clue what you could improve on and what you could stop. To you, it’s a flop. Period.
There is no such thing as failure in your life! You only have feedback; you are an adept student of life who is always learning, always curious to know more than one way of doing anything. You tap into a rich experiential past where you have gone out there and done that. All you get is feedback; if something doesn’t work, you are quick to filter what worked and what could be improved upon and you move on. For some reason, you are so blind to failure; it always falls on your blind sight! All you see is feedback.
Everything is pervasive to your life. It seems like everything happens for you only in to destroy you. If you are late for the bus, then your entire day is ruined. If you are turned down in a job offer, then you entire life is ruined! If you approach a lady and you are turned down, then you believe you are terrible with members of the opposite sex! Everything is permanent in your life! Alas! Negative permanence!
Nothing is pervasive! Each tough moment in your life is never defeating but a small spectacle in your rather large life. When it is very tough, you ask yourself, what will it matter 5 years from now? You quickly reframe your mind to see what is possible; what other options there could be. If a method of approach did not work in one instance, your refine your approach and go after it again and again till you get it. You live your life to the best standards through continuous and never ending improvements!
You don’t decide anything. You are wobbly in your thoughts – clouded with more wishes than real needs. You have a lot of SHOULDS and WOULDS to which you dilly dally around.
You are decisive! You know the power of decision to the last n in the word! You get up and say from now on, I am changing my life. When you make your mind, it is permanent and will only change in flexible proportion that steers you towards your goal.
You are not consistent. Inspiration comes to you like a cold rush and is gone the next minute. You do not sustain whatever little enthusiasm you pitch on. Everything is largely boring and dull!
You keep your commitments to your commitments! You adhere to a strict discipline regimen that feeds your mind to produce the results that people envy. You are resilient and ever-going-on.
Then began a journey of self discovery and of new meanings. Phew!
I have met people who have helped steer the course of my journey to the center. The source! In this blog, I share ideas that have touched my own life tremendously! I hope that you will find something that rings a bell, whose chimes reminds you that it is time to start wining back your life, that turns the knob to the garden of your own grand meanings, that fills the air of your life with the scents of possibility.
IT IS POSSIBLE!